Before I was a parent, I got it all figured out, I knew exactly what I would do and what I wouldn’t do. I would breastfeed for exactly 12 months, I would be very strict for a lot of things. The reality is so different. Since becoming a parent I’ve learned that everything is relative and that most of your decisions are based on whether they work well in your own situation or not.

So I can’t give you specific advice. Not very helpful I know, but isn’t it refreshing to hear? Instead of people shouting ‘sure to work advice’ from all directions? So many of those people are absolutely convinced that you’re doing something wrong and by doing it the ‘right way’ your child will be ‘fixed’.

I’ll be honest with you, I had the same arrogance before I became a parent. Whenever I used to hear a problems parents had, I ‘knew’ how to fix it right away. Ha! The arrogance. Or should I say, ignorance is bliss? But sometimes it surprises me that people still hold on to this arrogance after becoming a parent.

One of the first things I learnt when I became a mother is that you have to do things the way it works best for you, whether that’s the way you initially planned it or not. For example, before I gave birth, I thought people that breastfed past the first year were weird. So apparently, I’m weird because my daughter is almost 2 and I’m still breastfeeding.

We’ve had such struggles with sleeping and breastfeeding knocks her out without stress for at least a couple of hours. The ability to put her to bed without stress, without struggle or her screaming and protesting is so powerful I will breastfeed until it’s necessary. To the embarrassment of all those around me. (including my partner)

But that’s what I’ve learned. Different people care about different things. A lot of people I know find it incredibly important that their children finish the food on their plates. But I believe that we have learn to listen to our body. As long as we eat healthy food it’s ok to eat more or less on different days. And I’ve noticed that if my little one doesn’t want to eat her broccoli one day it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to finish it another day and then some. Also, if she doesn’t want broccoli I certainly don’t care, why would I force her to eat something that she doesn’t like? I don’t eat things that I don’t like.

Funnily enough my little one is a really great eater. She basically eats everything. So, I could give you the advice ‘let your little one eat whatever they want in whatever quantities they want’ and they’ll be great eaters!’ But that really wouldn’t work in so many situations. First of all, we never give our little one candy or cookies or anything like that. The last time she ate chips was one time about six months ago. In other words, she’s really used to healthy eating and that just shapes your appetite in a very natural way. Just to be clear, this isn’t a conscious decision or anything, we just don’t eat those things, so she doesn’t eat those things.

Second of all, so many things depend on a little one’s character. Some little ones just refuse to try new things and they need a little encouragement to at least try some new foods. Basically, what I’m saying is that it all depends on so many things, your lifestyle and your child’s character for starters.

So does that mean you should never listen to advice?

Goodness no, advice can be good for so many things! It’s helped me on so many occasions. We’ve gotten some professional advice for our little one because of her sleeping problems and that’s really helped us as well.

But I would advise you (haha yes I see the irony!) to vet your advice and not to hang too much on it. Check to see who the advice comes from and what character they’re child has. Does it not match with you? Most likely the advice will not work for you.

I would always be open to learn but don’t forget to trust your mother’s instincts above all else. Use your instincts and good old experimenting to see what works for you and what doesn’t. And never forget, you’re not trying to make things work according to somebody else’s standards, you’re trying to do what works best for you and your family. And sometimes that also means adjusting your own standards and expectations and remember doing what’s best in this moment here and now doesn’t mean you’ll be doing it the same way for 18 years. It just means you’re doing what works right now and it might be different even next week. So don’t stress about it and give yourself a break.

P.S. Is your little one having sleep problems like mine? Try our Spotify Baby Sleep playlist. Calm, soft music is scientifically proven to help babies fall asleep, even regulate their breathing and heart rate and it helps them and us set a bedtime routine. The best part is you can check it out for free HERE.

Listen To Our Soothing Baby Playlist

(And finally get some sleep for your baby AND for yourself)